<<Men, on the other hand, are finding, that if they are below average, or even just average (in terms of looks, social standing, etc…), they can’t even get past the first hurdle>>> I adore you for seeing truth that not even many professional male sociologists can see!!!!! Thank you for not repeating that calumny that women reject men because they want a man with more money (happens sometimes but is not the usual).
<<<<"Simply put everyone thinks very highly of themselves and think they deserve the best, whilst objectively, that simply cannot be true of everyone">>>>Personally, I struggled with my unmarried state for a long time. My only real "standard" was to marry a man I loved. But I was not going to fall in love unless he was Responsible, Kind, Intelligent, Enjoyable to Converse With and had much in common with me. Thus: a good friend. The times I found that, the wonderful man did not fall in love with me. I was not ugly when younger (probably 7 or 8) but they would get someone even better looking, for instance, one married a cheerleader. Or they would realize they were gay. Or there would be something else (long story). Anyway, it never happened. I'm find now, I've realized that I have been put on this path and I know how to be happy on this path. The grief I experienced in my 30s and 40s was terrible. But now, I'm not a volcel, but I'm a happycel.
What I'm going to sound may sound harsh, but I think your western romantic ideas of true love did not serve you well. This is a common trap us Westerners fall into. Expecting romantic love, which is fleeting, to be the basis for a life-long commitment in the form of marriage is just plain naive in my view. Arranged marriages should really stage a comeback, along with professional matchmakers. We were all sold a pack of lies by 19 th century romantics.
I don't' find it harsh - I prefer straightforward talk - I believe understand what you are saying and agree to a certain extent. I've witnessed arranged marriages work well, especially in India. But my personality was not built to live with another person unless I love them. Even life with parents, for whom I had daughterly love, was difficult for me. However, the time I spent lodging with a boyfriend I loved was great. I just know love would be required for me personally to make a good marriage, and I'm not inflicting myself on a man I don't love. - - I do think there was something within me that prevented me from falling in love with a man that a matchmaker would not have approved of - except of course I have no financial standards for a mate and a matchmaker might have had them. No "bad boys" for me. But such a thing does seem to be a problem for large numbers of women.
(I never fell out of love with a person I lived with but I expect if it happened I'd be OK, I'd be used to them, there would be some kind of foundation of love left.)
The hell part you discussed was frightening for me - I like to think eternal literal torment is not true. In fact, I can't think it is true and retain belief in God ( Well, a God with power to let a soul die if that was the only way to stop such torment.) But reasonable minds can disagree about hell.
I was warned by good parents who gave me accurate books about drugs. I never used any street drug. After being told that certain ones (e.g. mushrooms) could help and give spiritual experiences (Rod is an example but others have told me this starting long years ago) I wanted to try it but my friends who did it would not give me any. I think I should be thankful for this. And if - if - LSD is a helpful drug for things like depression, a very qualified doctor much be present during treatment. Anyway, we will likely deal with this over on Rod's substack today. Kind of interesting to see the same topic from you too - pretty cool.
Well, I accept the Hindu and Buddhist concept of hell as true. Hell is temporary, but temporary may mean thousands or millions of years. It is also not a question of some almighty God figure judging you and sentencing you to an eternity in hell. It is our own actions and their consequences that take us there. The subtle mechanics of this are complex, but essentially we carry our sin with us as some sort of energetic residue, which goes with us into the afterlife and it may "pull us down" into the lower hell realms. Perhaps these hell realms aren't places of torture in a literal sense, but we do suffer torment if we get there, in a spiritual sense. The mental tortures endured by the insane are I think a good indication of what awaits us there.
Yes, thanks. I took the phrase "tuck there for essentially an eternity" as eternity but it does not say that. I also apply "logic" at times (an all powerful God who does not have to allow unnecessary suffering) but I know that does not work with all Spiritual things and I know something of how to let go of logic. Anyway, I'm glad you wrote what you did today.
Yes. I came across a few accounts like that. One women gave a youtube interview about her experience, she led a very bad life and died due to a drug overdose. She saw a giant goat-man, not unlike the one I described in a previous post, which terrified her. The good thing about these experiences, is that they usually prompt the person to change their ways, before it's too late.
For my path, I was away for a very long time because I could not cope with an all-powerful all-loving God who allowed terrible suffering by others (mine is not that great btw). I was able to deal with that - you've heard my story - but just knowing my heart still had faith and spiritual things are not always logical. But I think allowing me to go with what I heard Billy Graham (The "Protestant Pope") say when I was about 12 is maybe best for me. He said the first symbolizes being away from God's presence. I don't think it would serve for me to know for a fact there is a hell, because I am going to do my best to be a Christian even if there is no after life at all (which there is....)
Well, I agree - people could suffer after death and be given a chance. "The Great Divorce" is my favorite book. I don't take it literally (no big bus runs between purgatory and heaven, for example) but to me, it points to the way I would understand a loving God to work with souls.
And yes, "fear of punishment" is the most basic reason to behave, before people, with their sin nature, will behave for any other reason. (Kohlberg is somewhat out of favor, but I always agreed with him.)
I stated reading Interior Castle after you talked about it. Great stuff. I thought I was not advanced enough to read in great detail about the higher stages. What is the best translation of "The Bridge"?
Oh, "The Great Divorce". It was life changing. Never a book like that. Sometimes when I feel down and like I am making poor spiritual progress, I read it again and it always helps.
Chris - just a quick one here and then I will have much more to discuss - very good column, by the way.
A bit about unmarried Asian women. I have had Asian women friends all my life. They talk to me. I visited China with one. It is not just "concentrating on their career in their twenties" that led to their unmarried state. They are intelligent and they know that they must marry while their looks are competitive with someone a single male might marry (about 25 or before). Yes, they decided to get a good education. Let's say 20 percent of men and 20 percent of women are "well-educated". In many cases (not all) the well educated man is happy to take a less-educated, less-intelligent woman if he likes her looks - and in fact, some - not all - feel more sure to be able to play the "manly" role with a less educated woman.
Do you think a woman wants to be significantly more intelligent and better-educated than her husband? It just does not work for most. Women fall in love with people they have significant things in common with, including intelligence, plus and with whom they have good conversations - intelligent conversations if they are intelligent. Also, the male would not feel like a "protector" if the woman just did better in life than him due to her intelligence. - So - Unmarried Asian women - one of my friends just has no interest (she never said but it is possible she would be more interested in women if things like that could work in Communist China where she now lives) but for the most part, my single Asian female friends were not among the "educated women" to get an "educated man" because many educated men married less-educated women, leaving them "left over". That is where the phrase "left over" comes from, I believe.
I know you lived in Singapore, and travelled a lot but I think maybe the women did not mention this, maybe they just told another woman because while I consider it "realistic" about men (generally: looks number one for marriage, personality/intelligence secondary. women are generally the reverse) they might think it insulting..
edit: Sorry so long - but you likely know that there are vast numbers of left-over men in Communist China due to aborting females. Still many educated women are "left over". They simply want to marry their peer or remain single, because they are only capable of falling in love with a peer, and will only marry for love, or at the very least, if they believe real love could develop.
Well, China is a weird case, I don't know it first-hand, but I've read plenty about it and have some friends who live there and tell me about it. The phenomenon is less common in Singapore, but very much so in the rest of Southeast Asia.
The way my ex-girlfriend explained it to me (she was from an upper middle-class family in Thailand), as she was the youngest of her parents' children and pretty spoiled as a result, they allowed her to not get married (you generally have to do so before you turn 22, or it's too late and nobody will want you) and go to uni in Australia instead. By the time she returned to Thailand, she was mid 20-s and was concentrating on building a career, she was in her mid 30-s when we met and claimed to be a virgin (I don't know if that was true, but apparently, it is common there even at this age, if you're not married) and she had no realistic prospect of finding a Thai husband. She told me, that in the Bangkok office she worked in, most women were in this category, plus there were 3 ladyboys, another Thai curiosity.
From talking to women in the Philippines, I gather that many men are gay or transgender in their youth (also the case in Thailand) and only really "get serious" so to speak, once they hit 40 and are no longer deemed attractive by other men. Then, they decide to get married and will generally marry a 20-year-old. Because of the population structure, there is always a surplus of young women and very few marriageable older men, so there is huge competition for them.
OK, yes - but did she tell you "I didn't get married because of concentrating on my career"? Even though she knew it was quite probable she would have difficulty finding a husband, did she believe literally "nobody" would want at are 23, after university, or mid-twenties when she came back? I can tell you women tend toward romantic beliefs, the idea that one day they will fall in love with someone who falls in love with them. Asian women can be much more practical about romance, but ....did she maybe make the mistake of believing she could still marry? Or are you saying that at age 18, she knew her fate if she want away to University but did it anyway?
Oh, speaking of ladyboys, yes, some women never marry because male homosexuals vastly outnumber female homosexuals. That is changing to some degree with some kind of power of suggestion in some Western places, but it was always true on the past, and is still true outside the West.
That is fascinating about the Philippines (and apparently Thailand). I had a Caucasian friend, age about 29, who married a Filipino in the Philippines. They had a priest marry them but did not file marriage papers the first day. They had not had pre-marital sex. The first night he told her "tie your hair back" then was really rough with her. It just was not normal. She left, and considered herself never-married because there had been no legal marriage. He was about her age or a little younger, however. She was an anthropologist who spoke Tagalog and Korean and had researched those countries but I guess she missed this or just did not tell me but took a chance. I guess maybe he was Catholic and trying not to be gay. I had no idea this was common in the Philippines. I wonder why. I believe true homosexuality is generally epigenetic, btw. (Genetic but usually something else must happen for the orientation to be there.)
She didn't put it in those exact words, but in effect, that's what she ended up doing. She concentrated on her career and education instead of getting married and having children. She knew perfectly well, that it would be very unlikely that she would ever get married due to this choice, but she felt that this was the right choice for her. When we met, she was over 35 (I was a couple of years younger than her) and she knew that I would probably be her last chance of getting married and starting a family. I, on the other hand, being several years younger, wasn't that keen and we were only together for a few months. She is now late forties and never got married or had children.
Well, it's become worse in the West actually as the idea of romantic love has been warped out of all recognition. First it was true love, which is fair enough. Then it was soulmates and "the one". Now it's twin flames and people are now expecting spiritual fulfilment from their partner. With all due respect, that is horseshit. However nice and even wise the other person might be, they're not God. People are looking for God in all the wrong places because they abandoned him in their hearts and are trying to fill that God-shaped hole through inadequate substitutes. Probably the main reason most relationships fail so swiftly and spectacularly nowadays.
My marriage and my relationship with my husband vastly improved when I reverted to Catholicism and he stopped being my "highest good." Too much pressure for one man to carry! That and having traditional family structures and gender roles modeled for us (and were common and expected) really helped us stop analyzing our marriage so much and just live it.
Also, the two times I took mushrooms I wanted wanted to kill myself. Like the reddit guy, I was trapped in a time loop and thought I would never escape. I wasn't tortured by a demon though. Never had the urge to do them again. Though I did do LSD once (it was alright, nothing amazing happened) and did plenty of salvia divinorum. I actually never had a bad trip on salvia and I credit it with bringing me back to God (and showing me the literal fabric of the Universe, constructed of interlocking pairs of masculine and feminine in a pattern that filled all things at all levels). Salvia was strange because whenever I smoked I got the sense I had been there before--it was VERY familiar, the beings there were clearly male or female, and that I was deeply loved, also that I shouldn't be there. Once the beings noticed me they would shoo me away. My boyfriend in college essentially went to Columbia to study neuroscience/drugs with Prof. Carl Heart so he introduced me to the psychedelics I took. He organized a conference on ibogaine (sp?) that was really interesting and kind of wild at the same time (held in the artist Alex Gray's studio in Manhattan featuring dedicated neuroscientists and a good friend of Abby Hoffman's who gave drug addicts ibogaine to cure them and said Jesus didn't really die and wasn't resurrected, he was just on ibogaine).
I've also done lots of cannabis, which did help me gain insight into God, and for that I am grateful. Though I've only actually grown spiritually when I've refrained from using any drugs and made prayer and repentance a cornerstone of my life (go figure). Those days are behind me and I would never use a psychadelic again...I was lucky nothing more happened. Really lucky.
I'm always amazed at the championship drug use of Americans. I myself never even tried them. They weren't around when I was in college and later, when I lived abroad, just didn't have any desire to try them. If you meditate seriously, they're pretty unnecessary anyway, since samadhi states are much more profound and life-changing.
What you wrote about the fabric of the universe, reminds me of the Shiva-Shakti duality in Hindu thought.
<<Men, on the other hand, are finding, that if they are below average, or even just average (in terms of looks, social standing, etc…), they can’t even get past the first hurdle>>> I adore you for seeing truth that not even many professional male sociologists can see!!!!! Thank you for not repeating that calumny that women reject men because they want a man with more money (happens sometimes but is not the usual).
<<<<"Simply put everyone thinks very highly of themselves and think they deserve the best, whilst objectively, that simply cannot be true of everyone">>>>Personally, I struggled with my unmarried state for a long time. My only real "standard" was to marry a man I loved. But I was not going to fall in love unless he was Responsible, Kind, Intelligent, Enjoyable to Converse With and had much in common with me. Thus: a good friend. The times I found that, the wonderful man did not fall in love with me. I was not ugly when younger (probably 7 or 8) but they would get someone even better looking, for instance, one married a cheerleader. Or they would realize they were gay. Or there would be something else (long story). Anyway, it never happened. I'm find now, I've realized that I have been put on this path and I know how to be happy on this path. The grief I experienced in my 30s and 40s was terrible. But now, I'm not a volcel, but I'm a happycel.
What I'm going to sound may sound harsh, but I think your western romantic ideas of true love did not serve you well. This is a common trap us Westerners fall into. Expecting romantic love, which is fleeting, to be the basis for a life-long commitment in the form of marriage is just plain naive in my view. Arranged marriages should really stage a comeback, along with professional matchmakers. We were all sold a pack of lies by 19 th century romantics.
I don't' find it harsh - I prefer straightforward talk - I believe understand what you are saying and agree to a certain extent. I've witnessed arranged marriages work well, especially in India. But my personality was not built to live with another person unless I love them. Even life with parents, for whom I had daughterly love, was difficult for me. However, the time I spent lodging with a boyfriend I loved was great. I just know love would be required for me personally to make a good marriage, and I'm not inflicting myself on a man I don't love. - - I do think there was something within me that prevented me from falling in love with a man that a matchmaker would not have approved of - except of course I have no financial standards for a mate and a matchmaker might have had them. No "bad boys" for me. But such a thing does seem to be a problem for large numbers of women.
(I never fell out of love with a person I lived with but I expect if it happened I'd be OK, I'd be used to them, there would be some kind of foundation of love left.)
The hell part you discussed was frightening for me - I like to think eternal literal torment is not true. In fact, I can't think it is true and retain belief in God ( Well, a God with power to let a soul die if that was the only way to stop such torment.) But reasonable minds can disagree about hell.
I was warned by good parents who gave me accurate books about drugs. I never used any street drug. After being told that certain ones (e.g. mushrooms) could help and give spiritual experiences (Rod is an example but others have told me this starting long years ago) I wanted to try it but my friends who did it would not give me any. I think I should be thankful for this. And if - if - LSD is a helpful drug for things like depression, a very qualified doctor much be present during treatment. Anyway, we will likely deal with this over on Rod's substack today. Kind of interesting to see the same topic from you too - pretty cool.
Well, I accept the Hindu and Buddhist concept of hell as true. Hell is temporary, but temporary may mean thousands or millions of years. It is also not a question of some almighty God figure judging you and sentencing you to an eternity in hell. It is our own actions and their consequences that take us there. The subtle mechanics of this are complex, but essentially we carry our sin with us as some sort of energetic residue, which goes with us into the afterlife and it may "pull us down" into the lower hell realms. Perhaps these hell realms aren't places of torture in a literal sense, but we do suffer torment if we get there, in a spiritual sense. The mental tortures endured by the insane are I think a good indication of what awaits us there.
Yes, thanks. I took the phrase "tuck there for essentially an eternity" as eternity but it does not say that. I also apply "logic" at times (an all powerful God who does not have to allow unnecessary suffering) but I know that does not work with all Spiritual things and I know something of how to let go of logic. Anyway, I'm glad you wrote what you did today.
Yes. I came across a few accounts like that. One women gave a youtube interview about her experience, she led a very bad life and died due to a drug overdose. She saw a giant goat-man, not unlike the one I described in a previous post, which terrified her. The good thing about these experiences, is that they usually prompt the person to change their ways, before it's too late.
I've read them. I just pray they aren't true.
For my path, I was away for a very long time because I could not cope with an all-powerful all-loving God who allowed terrible suffering by others (mine is not that great btw). I was able to deal with that - you've heard my story - but just knowing my heart still had faith and spiritual things are not always logical. But I think allowing me to go with what I heard Billy Graham (The "Protestant Pope") say when I was about 12 is maybe best for me. He said the first symbolizes being away from God's presence. I don't think it would serve for me to know for a fact there is a hell, because I am going to do my best to be a Christian even if there is no after life at all (which there is....)
Well, I agree - people could suffer after death and be given a chance. "The Great Divorce" is my favorite book. I don't take it literally (no big bus runs between purgatory and heaven, for example) but to me, it points to the way I would understand a loving God to work with souls.
And yes, "fear of punishment" is the most basic reason to behave, before people, with their sin nature, will behave for any other reason. (Kohlberg is somewhat out of favor, but I always agreed with him.)
I stated reading Interior Castle after you talked about it. Great stuff. I thought I was not advanced enough to read in great detail about the higher stages. What is the best translation of "The Bridge"?
Oh, "The Great Divorce". It was life changing. Never a book like that. Sometimes when I feel down and like I am making poor spiritual progress, I read it again and it always helps.
Chris - just a quick one here and then I will have much more to discuss - very good column, by the way.
A bit about unmarried Asian women. I have had Asian women friends all my life. They talk to me. I visited China with one. It is not just "concentrating on their career in their twenties" that led to their unmarried state. They are intelligent and they know that they must marry while their looks are competitive with someone a single male might marry (about 25 or before). Yes, they decided to get a good education. Let's say 20 percent of men and 20 percent of women are "well-educated". In many cases (not all) the well educated man is happy to take a less-educated, less-intelligent woman if he likes her looks - and in fact, some - not all - feel more sure to be able to play the "manly" role with a less educated woman.
Do you think a woman wants to be significantly more intelligent and better-educated than her husband? It just does not work for most. Women fall in love with people they have significant things in common with, including intelligence, plus and with whom they have good conversations - intelligent conversations if they are intelligent. Also, the male would not feel like a "protector" if the woman just did better in life than him due to her intelligence. - So - Unmarried Asian women - one of my friends just has no interest (she never said but it is possible she would be more interested in women if things like that could work in Communist China where she now lives) but for the most part, my single Asian female friends were not among the "educated women" to get an "educated man" because many educated men married less-educated women, leaving them "left over". That is where the phrase "left over" comes from, I believe.
I know you lived in Singapore, and travelled a lot but I think maybe the women did not mention this, maybe they just told another woman because while I consider it "realistic" about men (generally: looks number one for marriage, personality/intelligence secondary. women are generally the reverse) they might think it insulting..
edit: Sorry so long - but you likely know that there are vast numbers of left-over men in Communist China due to aborting females. Still many educated women are "left over". They simply want to marry their peer or remain single, because they are only capable of falling in love with a peer, and will only marry for love, or at the very least, if they believe real love could develop.
Well, China is a weird case, I don't know it first-hand, but I've read plenty about it and have some friends who live there and tell me about it. The phenomenon is less common in Singapore, but very much so in the rest of Southeast Asia.
The way my ex-girlfriend explained it to me (she was from an upper middle-class family in Thailand), as she was the youngest of her parents' children and pretty spoiled as a result, they allowed her to not get married (you generally have to do so before you turn 22, or it's too late and nobody will want you) and go to uni in Australia instead. By the time she returned to Thailand, she was mid 20-s and was concentrating on building a career, she was in her mid 30-s when we met and claimed to be a virgin (I don't know if that was true, but apparently, it is common there even at this age, if you're not married) and she had no realistic prospect of finding a Thai husband. She told me, that in the Bangkok office she worked in, most women were in this category, plus there were 3 ladyboys, another Thai curiosity.
From talking to women in the Philippines, I gather that many men are gay or transgender in their youth (also the case in Thailand) and only really "get serious" so to speak, once they hit 40 and are no longer deemed attractive by other men. Then, they decide to get married and will generally marry a 20-year-old. Because of the population structure, there is always a surplus of young women and very few marriageable older men, so there is huge competition for them.
OK, yes - but did she tell you "I didn't get married because of concentrating on my career"? Even though she knew it was quite probable she would have difficulty finding a husband, did she believe literally "nobody" would want at are 23, after university, or mid-twenties when she came back? I can tell you women tend toward romantic beliefs, the idea that one day they will fall in love with someone who falls in love with them. Asian women can be much more practical about romance, but ....did she maybe make the mistake of believing she could still marry? Or are you saying that at age 18, she knew her fate if she want away to University but did it anyway?
Oh, speaking of ladyboys, yes, some women never marry because male homosexuals vastly outnumber female homosexuals. That is changing to some degree with some kind of power of suggestion in some Western places, but it was always true on the past, and is still true outside the West.
That is fascinating about the Philippines (and apparently Thailand). I had a Caucasian friend, age about 29, who married a Filipino in the Philippines. They had a priest marry them but did not file marriage papers the first day. They had not had pre-marital sex. The first night he told her "tie your hair back" then was really rough with her. It just was not normal. She left, and considered herself never-married because there had been no legal marriage. He was about her age or a little younger, however. She was an anthropologist who spoke Tagalog and Korean and had researched those countries but I guess she missed this or just did not tell me but took a chance. I guess maybe he was Catholic and trying not to be gay. I had no idea this was common in the Philippines. I wonder why. I believe true homosexuality is generally epigenetic, btw. (Genetic but usually something else must happen for the orientation to be there.)
She didn't put it in those exact words, but in effect, that's what she ended up doing. She concentrated on her career and education instead of getting married and having children. She knew perfectly well, that it would be very unlikely that she would ever get married due to this choice, but she felt that this was the right choice for her. When we met, she was over 35 (I was a couple of years younger than her) and she knew that I would probably be her last chance of getting married and starting a family. I, on the other hand, being several years younger, wasn't that keen and we were only together for a few months. She is now late forties and never got married or had children.
Well, it's become worse in the West actually as the idea of romantic love has been warped out of all recognition. First it was true love, which is fair enough. Then it was soulmates and "the one". Now it's twin flames and people are now expecting spiritual fulfilment from their partner. With all due respect, that is horseshit. However nice and even wise the other person might be, they're not God. People are looking for God in all the wrong places because they abandoned him in their hearts and are trying to fill that God-shaped hole through inadequate substitutes. Probably the main reason most relationships fail so swiftly and spectacularly nowadays.
My marriage and my relationship with my husband vastly improved when I reverted to Catholicism and he stopped being my "highest good." Too much pressure for one man to carry! That and having traditional family structures and gender roles modeled for us (and were common and expected) really helped us stop analyzing our marriage so much and just live it.
Also, the two times I took mushrooms I wanted wanted to kill myself. Like the reddit guy, I was trapped in a time loop and thought I would never escape. I wasn't tortured by a demon though. Never had the urge to do them again. Though I did do LSD once (it was alright, nothing amazing happened) and did plenty of salvia divinorum. I actually never had a bad trip on salvia and I credit it with bringing me back to God (and showing me the literal fabric of the Universe, constructed of interlocking pairs of masculine and feminine in a pattern that filled all things at all levels). Salvia was strange because whenever I smoked I got the sense I had been there before--it was VERY familiar, the beings there were clearly male or female, and that I was deeply loved, also that I shouldn't be there. Once the beings noticed me they would shoo me away. My boyfriend in college essentially went to Columbia to study neuroscience/drugs with Prof. Carl Heart so he introduced me to the psychedelics I took. He organized a conference on ibogaine (sp?) that was really interesting and kind of wild at the same time (held in the artist Alex Gray's studio in Manhattan featuring dedicated neuroscientists and a good friend of Abby Hoffman's who gave drug addicts ibogaine to cure them and said Jesus didn't really die and wasn't resurrected, he was just on ibogaine).
I've also done lots of cannabis, which did help me gain insight into God, and for that I am grateful. Though I've only actually grown spiritually when I've refrained from using any drugs and made prayer and repentance a cornerstone of my life (go figure). Those days are behind me and I would never use a psychadelic again...I was lucky nothing more happened. Really lucky.
I'm always amazed at the championship drug use of Americans. I myself never even tried them. They weren't around when I was in college and later, when I lived abroad, just didn't have any desire to try them. If you meditate seriously, they're pretty unnecessary anyway, since samadhi states are much more profound and life-changing.
What you wrote about the fabric of the universe, reminds me of the Shiva-Shakti duality in Hindu thought.
It's that DIY pioneer mentality I think.
I prefer mystic, but yeah, when I was younger, my friends always used to joke about me being a priest.
I am frankly worried by the number of people who claim to have become "enlightened" due to drug use.